sorpdaupecsi1982.netlify.com

The best thing Lowell Senior Hookup Sites about these websites is that Lowell Senior Hookup Sites they help you find a bride in almost any region without leaving your home. You just place your order and get the list of hot brides to your e-mail. Top Hookup sites and hookup apps can be the best place to find new people. Best Free Hookup Sites of 2021 that actually works. Here is a list of best free hookup sites that actually work and have helped people find partner: 1. Adult Friend Finder. This is the largest and the biggest online hookup website which is with free version available. Hook Up Website In Ponca City Ok, beach hook up radcliff kentucky, hookup site damascus oregon, cougar dating in college point. Nick Viall began his dramatic journey to finally find the love of his life on. Heap Mobile and Web Analytics. The discount can be applied to up to 12 lines,.

Hookup culture is one that accepts and encourages casual sex encounters, including one-night stands and other related activity, without necessarily including emotional intimacy, bonding or a committed relationship.^[1] It is generally associated with Western late adolescent sexuality and, in particular, United States college culture.^[2][3][4] The term hookup has an ambiguous definition because it can indicate kissing or any form of physical sexual activity between sexual partners.^[5][6] The term has been widely used in the U.S. since at least 2000.^[6] It has also been called nonrelationship sex,^[7] or sex without dating.

Most research on hookups has been focused on U.S. college students, but hookups are not limited to college campuses.^[8][9]Adolescents and emerging adults engage in hookups for a variety of reasons, which may range from instant physical gratification, to fulfillment of emotional needs, to using it as a means of finding a long-term romantic partner.^[9] Reaction by media to hookup culture has been often considered moral panic.^[10][11][12] The recent introduction of mobile hookup apps and websites have shaped hookup culture, especially among gay men.^[13]

History[edit]

The rise of hookups, a form of casual sex, has been described by evolutionary biologistJustin Garcia and others as a 'cultural revolution' that had its beginnings in the 1920s.^[14] Historians D'Emilio and Freedman put the beginning of casual sex, including college hookups, further back in history, to the early 1800s, and explain the phenomenon as shaped by historical and cultural forces.^[15] Lisa Wade, a sociologist, documents that 19th-century white fraternity men often had what would be called hookup sex with prostitutes, poor women, and the women they had enslaved.^[16]Homosexual men also engaged in hookup sex during the 1800s, meeting in spaces that were transient in nature, such as wharves and boarding houses.^[15] Since the 1920s, there has been a transition from an age of courtship to an era of hookup culture.^[17][15][16] Technological advancements, such as the automobile and movie theaters, brought young couples out of their parents' homes, and out from their watchful eyes, giving them more freedom and more opportunity to engage in casual sexual activity.^[14]

The sexual revolution of the 1960s brought a loosening of sexual morals which allowed for sex to become uncoupled from relationships and non-marital sex to become more socially acceptable.^[3][18]

Support for sexual freedom became increasingly popular as new ideas and beliefs evolved about the positive and negative aspects of engaging in sexual intercourse.^[19] It became more widely accepted that having sex was not necessarily always intended for reproduction, but rather had more emphasis on physical pleasure.^[19] This new outlook was influenced by several factors, including the eradication of 1930s censorship laws regarding sexually explicit content in media, and also a growing accessibility to birth control pills, condoms, and other forms of contraception.^[19][16] Before the 1960s, unmarried women were usually denied access to birth control since it was traditional for men and women to refrain from having sex until after marriage.^[16]

Feminism grew substantially in the 1960s, with supporters arguing that a woman should have complete control over her own body.^[19] Supporters of the feminist movement also argued that women should be able to 'pursue' men in the same way men traditionally approached women, and made efforts to change the negative attitudes usually associated with women that decided to have sex before marriage.^[19]

Kathleen Bogle has stated that the growing acceptance of casual sex in the 1960s could also be attributed to a sharp rise in female student enrollment at colleges and universities.^[19] The number of women attending college in the United States in 1972 was three times larger than the number in 1960.^[19][20] With a greater number of females on campuses compared to males, women had to adjust to the sexual scripts outlined by men, which are based more on engaging in uncommitted sex rather than on developing relationships.^[19]

Some scholars, including Garcia and Freitas, have found that dating, while it has not disappeared, has decreased as the frequency of hookups have increased.^[11][21] By the mid-1990s, Freitas found that hookups were an accepted form of interactions among sexually active adults, especially those located on college campuses.^[1]

According to a review by Garcia, this is 'an unprecedented time in the history of human sexuality.'^[14] People are marrying and beginning families at ages later than previous generations while becoming sexually mature at an earlier age. As a result, Garcia and other scholars argue that young adults are able to reproduce physiologically but are not psychologically or socially ready to 'settle down' and begin a family.^[14]

These developmental shifts, Garcia's systematic review of the literature suggests, is one of the factors driving the increase in hookups, a 'popular cultural change that has infiltrated the lives of emerging adults throughout the Western world.'^[14] The review shows that hookups are becoming increasingly normative among young adults and adolescents in North America and have taken root throughout the Western world, which represents a notable shift in how casual sex is perceived and accepted.^[11]

Introduction Title For Hookup Site Examples

Garcia and others have noted that the 'past decade has witnessed an explosion in interest in the topic of hookups, both scientifically and in the popular media. Research on hookups is not seated within a singular disciplinary sphere; it sits at the crossroads of theoretical and empirical ideas drawn from a diverse range of fields, including psychology, anthropology, sociology, biology, medicine, and public health.'^[11] However, research shows that COVID-19 has impacted hook-up culture by lowering the prevalence of casual sex. ^[22] Difficulties in defining the term can lead to different perceptions of its prevalence.^[23] The hookup culture is vaguely defined due to a variety of perspectives taken on this subject related human sexuality. It is hard to make sense of the hookup culture with understanding why it exists in society and why individuals participate in the culture.^[24]

According to Shannon T. Boodram, 'hooking up is nothing more than settling; it is the microwaveable burrito of sex.'^[24] Hooking up is engaged in for the instant gratification for sex, pleasure, a feeling of being loved, an emotional feeling of being adhered to, the thought of the potential of the hookup developing into something less casual, and many more reasons.^[24]

According to Kathleen Bogle, the phrase 'hooking up' is 'a slang term' deemed unofficial and unpredictable due to the extended variation of its meaning.^[17] Many other slang terms for hooking up were and are still used such as 'friends with benefits' and 'booty call.'^[17] Other terms for repeated acts of hooking up include, 'casual sex' or 'recreational sex,' or defined as a relationship with 'no strings attached.'^[25]

Behavioral norms[edit]

The definition of hooking up can vary depending on the person or on the age group. It can range from acts that involve kissing, oral sex, or sexual intercourse.^[26] The term 'hooking up', meaning an instance of casual sex, differs from hookup culture. A hookup is an act that involves sexual intimacy, claimed by many to be a sexually liberating act. On the other hand, hookup culture is thought to be oppressive and monolithic, with intimacy only occurring within a specific context.^[27] Jennifer Aubrey and Siobhan Smith have found that between genders there are minimal differences when it comes to behavior and frequency in hookups; on the other hand, women still face a harder social stigma, because their social status decreases with increased sexual partners, while men's social status increases with more sexual partners.^[28] There is also a difference between men and women when it comes to the reason to partake in casual sex. Where men use hooking up to increase sexual experiences and gain their manhood, women tend to hook up with the hopes of it becoming a long-term relationship and to satisfy their partner.^[29] In a study conducted by Danielle M. Currier, she explores how the phrase 'hooking up' conveys different meanings depending on whether a man or woman uses it when describing their sexual encounters; furthermore, Currier notes that men use 'hooking up' to emphasize their masculinity and heterosexuality whereas women use the phrase to preserve their femininity by being strategically ambiguous in order to downplay their sexual desires.^[30]

Gender roles[edit]

While both men and women participate in hook-ups, Bogle notes that males and females often choose casual sex for different reasons.^[19] Researchers suggest men and women have distinct sexual scripts, or ways in which cultural influences can affect an individual's sexual behaviors.^[19][16] Furthermore, society judges the sexual behaviors of men and women in a completely different manner.^[19][16] For men, sex is characterized as 'central to male identity', and research suggests men tend to 'prefer nonrelational sex'.^[16] In contrast, women are viewed as 'sexual objects' and are normally 'sexually passive compared to men.'^[16] Society typically admires or glorifies men who frequently engage in casual sex, but women are scrutinized or admonished for those same behaviors.^[19] For this reason, a woman's sexual script has more focus on finding some type of commitment or relationship.^[19] Additionally, women pursue relationships to 'protect their reputation' while in college, but men have more sexual freedom without the fear of reproach.^[19] Females risk being called 'sluts' or being accused of 'getting around too much,' since society has historically identified this as inappropriate behavior for females.^[19][31] Men are not held to the same standards, particularly in high school and college. Men who engage in regular sexual activity are seen as successful individuals who are 'players'.^[19] In fact, men are rarely reprimanded for their sexual behavior unless they are practicing abstinence, in which case their peers might say they cannot 'get any'.^[19]

Researcher Donna Freitas challenges society's perceptions of the male sexual script. Through conversations and interviews with men on college campuses, she says they expressed a need to 'fit in' with other males to be successful.^[31] Men claim to hook up more due to peer expectations rather than to meet their own desires.^[31] Men also say they cannot express disapproval for hook-up culture in the same way women can without facing criticism from their peers.^[31] To summarize, women face several risks by participating in hook-up culture, but Freitas says 'men risk gaining a reputation by not being a part of it.'^[31]

However, both men and women let societal pressure influence their sexual behavior on college campuses. Pluralistic ignorance leads people to behave in alignment with beliefs they attribute to their group, although they are usually false, regardless of the individual’s beliefs. Research done on a college campus found that men and women overestimate their same-gendered peers’ comfort towards hook ups and will act in accordance with their perception of how their peers feel, rather than their own comfort level ^[32] Pluralistic ignorance is supported by the results that women felt moderate discomfort with intercourse during a hookup, still 32% reported participating, and all women rated their peers’ comfort higher than their own.^[32] The study found that men were more comfortable with all sexual behaviors discussed than women were.^[32] Researchers argue that these two combined lead to negative consequences like sexual assault, especially for women.^[32]

Introduction Title For Hookup Site Ideas

Homosexuality[edit]

Stereotypes suggest most people believe gay men are the most likely to engage in casual or uncommitted sex on a regular basis.^[33] Studies conclude gay men participated in more frequent casual sex than individuals 'across all genders, sexes, and sexual orientations comparison groups.'^[33][34] Overall, hook-up culture is understood to be most prominent within the gay community.^[33][34] Biologically speaking, sexual behavior is closely connected to someone's birth sex.^[34] Under this assumption, women are considered a 'limiting factor in sexual encounters.'^[33][34] Gay men do not have to question the sexual desires of other men like they would if a female was involved in the scenario.^[33][34]

Additionally, society's early negative perspectives on homosexuality along with a lack of 'regulation' in gay relationships can explain the higher rate of casual sex encounters among gay men.^[33][34] Certain perceptions of gay men like prejudice and homophobia adversely affected the overall mental health of gay men, and they were often forced to explore their sexual needs and desires in a discreet fashion.^[33][34]

Recent advances in technology such as dating websites and mobile apps, have also contributed to the current hook-up tendencies observed in gay men.^[15][33][35] Apps like Grindr have further advanced the sexual scripts of homosexual men.^[15] Other apps, like Tinder or Bumble, have been created to follow a similar script for heterosexual individuals. Nevertheless, because casual hook-ups and anonymous sexual encounters have been classified as more prominent in homosexuals, apps like Tinder and Bumble still maintain a broader focus on more long-term goals like dating or relationships, especially when compared to apps like Grindr.^[15]

Adolescents[edit]

Some North American surveys published in the mid-2000s have shown that upwards of 60% or 70% of sexually active teens reported having had uncommitted sex within the last year.^{[11][36][37][38]} This is more common among males than females.^[36] Among sexually experienced adolescents, 28% of males and 16% of females reported losing their virginity to either someone they have just met or to a friend who is not a dating partner.^[39]

Males are more likely than females to have several hookup partners at the same time, and are also more likely to hookup with someone they are not dating.^[36] For both genders, hookups are more likely to be with an ex-boyfriend, an ex-girlfriend or a friend than with an acquaintance.^[36] The majority of teens (68%) who hookup with a friend or an ex will hookup with them again.^[36]

About half of all hookups among adolescents were a one-time affair, and this is the same for both genders.^[36] Only 6% of teens have had sex with someone they just met, and these encounters are a one-time affair 75% of the time.^[36] Over all, 25% of those who had a sexual experience with a dating partner have also hooked up with someone they were not dating.^[36] Additionally, 40% of those who had hooked up with someone they were not dating had also hooked up with a dating partner in the previous 12 months.^[36]

Studies have shown that most high school girls are more interested in a relationship compared to high school boys, who are mostly interested in sex. Young women tend to be honest about their sexual encounters and experiences, while young men tend to lie more often about theirs.^{[citation needed]} Another study shows that once a person has sex for their first time, it becomes less of an issue to future relationships or hookups. During this study, it was shown that girls in high school do not care as much as boys do on having sex in a relationship. But, on the contrary, girls will have sex with their partner in order to match them.^[40]

Relationships[edit]

For some adolescents, sex and relationships have been decoupled.^{[citation needed]}

Some worry that if society disconnects intimate sexual behavior and emotional connection, teens who hookup will have trouble forming stable intimate relationships later in life.^[41][42][43]

Journalist Sabrina Weill asserts that 'casual teen attitudes toward sex—particularly oral sex—reflect their confusion about what is normal behavior,' and adds that they 'are facing an intimacy crisis that could haunt them in future relationships. 'When teenagers fool around before they're ready or have a very casual attitude toward sex, they proceed toward adulthood with a lack of understanding about intimacy.'^[42]

College[edit]

Historical research documents that white male college students have a long history of engaging in hookup sex.^[15][16] Journals and letters from the 1800s demonstrate that wealthy young white male college students hooked up with prostitutes, with poor women, and with enslaved African American women.

Today, according to one study, more than 90% of American college students say their campus is characterized by a hookup culture,^[44] and students believe that about 85% of their classmates have hooked up.^[4] There have been several studies conducted that found men emerging into adulthood have a higher number of casual sex partners and will engage in more casual sex as opposed to women. It also seems that hooking up has replaced much of the dating scene on a lot of U.S. college campuses, though men and women's definition of hook ups varied.^[29] Studies show that most students (most recent data suggest between 60% and 80%) do have some sort of casual sex experience.^[11][14] Of those students who have hooked up, between 30% and 50% report that their hookups included sexual intercourse.^[4] In the U.S., women outnumber men in college enrollment by 4 to 3, leading some researchers to argue that the gender imbalance fosters a culture of hooking up because men, as the minority and limiting factor, hold more power in the sexual marketplace and use it to pursue their preference of casual sex over long-term relationships.^[45]

However, most students overestimate the number of hookups in which their peers engage.^[46][16] Only 20% of students regularly hookup.^[44] Roughly one half will occasionally hookup, and one-third of students do not hookup at all.^[44] The median number of hookups for a graduating senior on a college campus is seven, and the typical college student acquires two new sexual partners during their college career.^[44] Half of all hookups are repeats, and 25% of students will graduate from college a virgin.^[44] African American female students are less likely to engage in hookup sex than white female students.^[16]

One study has found that the strongest predictor of hookup behavior was previous experience hooking up. Those who have engaged in hookups that involve penetrative sex are 600% more likely to hookup again during the same semester.^[14][47]

Subculture can affect gender roles and sexuality, and youth subcultures are particularly susceptible to peer pressure.^{[citation needed]}Self-esteem is also an indicator: men with high self-esteem and women with low self-esteem are more likely to have multiple sexual partners, but hookups are less likely among both genders when they have high self-esteem. Most predictors among males and females rarely differ.^[48]

One third of gay and bisexual college men have met an anonymous sexual partner in a public place such as a park, bookstore, or restroom.^[11] Other venues such as public cruising areas, Internet cruising networks, and bathhouses are popular for gay men, but not for lesbians or heterosexuals.^[11]

The trend toward marrying later may be what is fueling the hookup scene on college campuses.^{[[[Wikipedia:Citing_sources page needed]]]}-49'>[49] At colleges, hookups are common between students at parties, in dormitories and fraternity houses, at surrounding bars and clubs, and at popular student vacation destinations. For example, a study of Canadian college students who planned to hookup while on spring break showed that 61% of men and 34% of women had sex within a day of meeting their partner.^[11]

Another study was based on a survey of over 18,000 college students from ages 18–25. This survey asked questions like how many sexual partners they have had since graduating high school, how many sexual partners per year, and how many times per week they have sex. It was reported that a little over 59% of college students have sex once per week. A little over 31% reported to having at least one sexual partner per year, and about 50% said that they have had more than two sexual partners since the age of 18.^[50] Perceptions of 'frat boys' and how this stereotype seems to be the typical male who only pursues women to have sexual relations. Many female college students explained how the 'frat boy' perfectly embodies the persona of a sex driven male.^{[[[Wikipedia:Citing_sources page needed]]]}-49'>[49]

Relationships[edit]

Hooking up generally refers to having sex; however, many others indicated that when they say hooking up they are referring to something less than intercourse.^{[[[Wikipedia:Citing_sources page needed]]]}-49'>[49] In a hookup culture, young people often have little experience with dating and developing romantic relationships.^[51][52] Hooking up is means for experiencing casual sexual encounters, but it is also a means for beginning relationships.^{[[[Wikipedia:Citing_sources page needed]]]}-49'>[49] Students often feel that hookups are the only option and that their peers do not date, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as fewer students date because they believe their classmates do not believe in dating.^[53] Freitas' study has found that students on these campuses generally feel that the decision about whether or not to be in a relationship is out of their control and that 'hookup culture dictated for them that there would be no dating and that they simply had to endure this reality.'^[21]

Kimmel believes that while sexual promiscuity once existed on college campuses alongside more traditional forms of dating, hooking up is now 'the alpha and omega of young adult romance.'^[54] Wade, on the other hand, says that college students are merely engaging in a different form of courtship that often results in monogamous relationships.^[44] This view is echoed by Armstrong, Hamilton and England, who state that college students have not abandoned dating.^[10] Some students claim that hookups fit their busy personal and professional schedules better than traditional dating does and is thus liberating.^[55] Freitas counters that living in the hookup culture is not at all liberating if what students want is to actually go on dates.^[56]

Freitas has opined that a 'hookup is a sexual act that thwarts meaning, purpose, and relationship.'^[57] However, most students do want to be in a romantic relationship.^[8][11][44] One study has found that 63% of college-aged men and 83% of college-aged women would prefer a traditional romantic relationship at their current stage in life to casual sex.^[11] Additionally, 95% of women and 77% of men say they prefer dating to hooking up.^[44] 'Without exception,' sex counselor Ian Kerner says, '[students] discuss a long-term monogamous relationship as their desired end goal.'^[8] While more than half of students of both genders say they would like a hookup to develop into a romantic relationship,^[8][11][58] only 6.5% (4.4% of men and 8.2% of women) expect that one will.^[14][59] 51% of women, and 42% of men, have tried discussing the possibility of beginning a romantic relationship with a hookup partner.^[11]

More than half of college relationships begin with a hookup, Bogle's research has found.^[60][61] Freitas' study shows that when a relationship is born of a hookup, it is usually after months of engaging in a series of sexual encounters.^[62] Relationships that begin as a hookup, or as a 'friends with benefits' situation, report lower levels of satisfaction.^[11] Garcia says that hookup culture can lead to a lower incidence of dating among youth, but as people get a bit older they outgrow their desire for hookups and settle into traditional dating.^[8]

Oftentimes, men and women seem to not be on the 'same page.' According to Bogle, many males believed that females often invested themselves or had an ulterior motive for pursuing a hookup like situation. For instance, when a male student was asked if he felt that women looked for different components in a hookup; his response was that most females generally did not lean towards a 'one and done' thing.^{[[[Wikipedia:Citing_sources page needed]]]}-49'>[49]

Sociologist Wade^[16] discusses several scholars who disagree that contemporary college students desire long-term monogamous relationships. She cites Elizabeth Armstrong and Laura Hamilton,^[63] Hanna Rosin,^[64] and Kate Taylor^[55] who posit that hookup culture is good for women as it frees them to focus on their studies and on their professional development for careers instead of seeking a long-term partner or marriage.

Freitas believes the lessons imparted by hookup culture have 'set back' students who often have little experience dating, and few skills in asking a romantic partner out as a result.^[1] There has been such a decline in dating culture on college campuses that most students have had more hookups than first dates.^[8] On some campuses, dating is so rare that many students do not have the skills to know how to ask someone out.^[1]Boston College even offers a course on how to plan and execute a date.^[1]

Peer culture[edit]

College students base their sexual ideas and sexual actions within a peer culture. This is where students who are peers are comparing and differing sexual situations in one's own life amongst each other to create a foundation for the current hookup culture.^[17] Kathleen Bogle describes the peer culture at universities as the 'sexual arena.'^[17] College students on campuses are able to create and explore their own sexual beings in life by referencing others' intimacy, which tends to be presented publicly.^[17]

This peer culture is not only amongst college students, but it may start to develop around the time puberty starts in middle school for both genders around the age of eleven to fourteen years old. In general, puberty is a time when sexuality and self-awareness becomes a main focus for individuals to formulate this aspect of their identity. Once in college, for most students, the parental aspect is diminished leaving a student feeling a high degree of freedom to truly explore and expand their whole personal identity, strongly including sexual identity in this 'sexual arena.'^[17]

According to Bogle, the campuses her studies were done at had a common trend of college students being strongly interested in every other student's private life.^[17] This awareness of all the happenings in other students' lives made the college scene an open door in looking at others' relationships and sexual intimacy.^[17] College is a highly public environment, any kind of sexual activity or public display of affection at parties or on campus are exposed to others. The viewers of this activity process, interpret, and form assumptions about what was observed. These types of sexual activity or public displays of affection could be as meaningless as two individuals romantically speaking to each other in a high capacity location on campus or could be as extreme as two individuals walking into a bedroom together at a party.^[17]

This peer culture has evolved and escalated with access to rapid communication such as texting on cell phones and multiple social media applications. Most these social media applications are identity profiles, public thought disposals, and virtual photo albums of oneself, where other's are just a click away from cyber analysis of how that individual displays themselves physically, sexually, psychologically, emotionally, and mentally on the internet. Bogle states that the knowing of other's personal lives isn't just a purpose to gossip, but a way to observe, analyze, and be impacted by other's sexual actions, solely for the purpose of their own actions.^[17] A peer culture is where norms surface because individuals begin to conduct themselves in the same manner that their peers do, which creates this typical and common style of acquitting oneself.^[17]

Risks[edit]

Most people choose to take part in hook-ups to experience physical intimacy and sexual pleasure, but this type of behavior can result in a variety of negative outcomes, too.^[16] These impacts can range from 'emotional and psychological injury, sexual violence, Sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and/or unintended pregnancy.'^[16] Despite these known potential effects, many college students are either unaware or unbothered by these sexual risks.^[65] According to a survey focused on how students perceive the risk of contracting sexual diseases, only half of a group of 71 students reported having concerns about STI contraction while engaging in sexual intercourse.^[65] Further analysis of this survey determined that many students claimed to trust their sexual partners and communities too much, and that they were misinformed about sexual risks in general.^[65] Research suggests frequent drug or alcohol use can also lead to lower perceptions of these health risks.^[19][31][16]

Engaging in hook-ups can have negative effects on a person's mental health as well, including feelings of anxiety or discomfort.^[16][66] One study suggests nearly 35% of surveyed students described feeling regretful or disappointed after a hook-up.^[20][66] Experts have used qualitative analyses to gauge both the type and level of regret a student might have after uncommitted sex. Many reported having feelings of embarrassment, emotional issues, and an overall lack of respect from their peers.^[16][67]

Garcia's review has found that hookups can result in emotional and psychological injury, sexual violence, sexually transmitted infections, and/or unintended pregnancy.^[11][14] Most students report with not concerning themselves with or being concerned about the health risks that come with hookups, however, especially if their partner was a member of their own community, such as a student on the same college campus.^[11] Garcia notes that there can be a lot of pressure when it comes to hooking up which can contribute to discomfort, performance anxiety, and stress. ^[69]

Some studies have found that students, both men and women, overwhelmingly regret their hookups.^[11] In one, 77% of students regretted their hookups,^[14][68] and in another 78% of women and 72% of men who had uncommitted vaginal, anal, and/or oral sex regretted the experience.^[14][68] Intercourse that occurred less than 24 hours after meeting, and those that took place only one time are the most likely to be regretted.^[69] Men were more likely to be sorry for having used another person, and women regretted the experience because they felt they had been used.^[14][69] While women usually feel worse after a hookup than men do, 39% of men expressed extreme regret, shame, and frustration with themselves about their hookup experiences.^[70]

Other studies found that many college students do not regret their hookup experiences. Wade interviewed many women and men who were enthusiastic about their hookup experiences.^[16] Vrangalova and Ong's study documented that students who had a stable personality orientation towards casual sex reported a heightened sense of well-being after experiencing casual sex.^[71]

Some research shows that hookup regret is gendered, with women tending to regret hooking up much more than men do. According to one study of 832 college students, 26% of women and 50% of men reported positive emotional reactions following a hookup and 49% of women and 26% of men reported negative reactions following a hookup.^[11] According to one study, there are at least four explanations for why women may regret hookups more than men: They may have different attitudes towards relationships, hooking up, and sex; there may be differences in sexual initiation and agency within hookups; there may be differences in the frequency of orgasm within hookups;^[72] and there may be differences in perceived inequality in orgasms during hookups.^[73] Other studies, such as Vrangalova and Ong, found no gender difference.^[71]

Regret from hooking up may be linked to negative emotional outcomes, especially in women. According to an article by Steven E. Rhoads, Laura Webber, et al., 'the more partners women have in the course of their lives, the more likely they are to be depressed, to cry almost every day, and to report relatively low satisfaction with their lives.^[74] In Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think About Marrying, Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker report that having more sexual partners is associated with 'poorer emotional states in women, but not in men.'^[75]

The American Psychological Association also says that hookups can result in guilt and negative feelings. In a study of 169 sexually experienced men and women surveyed in singles bars, when presented with the statement, 'I feel guilty or would feel guilty about having sexual intercourse with someone I had just met,' 32 percent of men and 72 percent of women agreed.^[76][14]

Students who reported to Freitas that they were profoundly upset about hooking up say the encounters made them feel, among other things, used, miserable, disgusted, and duped.^[77] In order to avoid becoming a victim, experts believe 'that the first step is to acknowledge the dangers inherent in the free-and-easy hookup approach to dating and sex.'^[78] In one qualitative study, only 2% felt desirable or wanted after a hookup.^[79] More than a third, on the other hand, felt regretful or disappointed, and others reported feeling nervous or uncomfortable as well.^[79]

Drugs and alcohol[edit]

Some studies have made a connection between hookup culture and substance use.^[14] A majority of students said that their hookups occurred after drinking alcohol.^[14][80][81] Frietas has said that in her study the relationship between drinking and the party scene, and between alcohol and hookup culture, was 'impossible to miss.'^[82] Hookups 'almost always' occur when at least one participant is drunk, according to Kimmel.^[83] On average, men have five drinks when they hookup, and women three.^[83] Students who reported using marijuana or cocaine in the past year were also more likely than their peers to have hooked up during that period.^[14][84]

About a third of the students who reported engaging in vaginal, anal, or oral sex during a hookup reported being very intoxicated and another third reported being mildly intoxicated.^[14][85] Alcohol can act as a cue regarding sexual availability, as a disinhibitor, and as a rationalization or an excuse for their behavior, poor sexual performance, premature ejaculation, and other sexual dysfunctions.^[86][14][79] It also is the 'liquid courage' that allows them to make a sexual advance in the first place.^[86]

Studies suggest that the degree of alcoholic intoxication directly correlates with the level of risky behavior.^[48] In one study, 33% of those who had hooked up indicated that it was 'unintentional,' and likely due to the influence of alcohol or other drugs.^[14][59] In a survey of first-year students, women said that 64% of their hookups came after drinking alcohol.^[14][80] These results were similar to another study which found that 61% of all undergraduates reported drinking alcohol before their last hookup.^[14][81]

Studies have generally shown that greater alcohol use is associated with more sexual activity in the course of a hookup.^[14][47] The students who reported the least amount of alcohol consumption were also the least likely to hookup. At the other end of the spectrum, the greatest alcohol consumption was associated with penetrative sex, and less alcohol consumption with non-penetrative hookups.^[14][47] Of those who took part in a hookup that included vaginal, anal, or oral sex, 35% were very intoxicated, 27% were mildly intoxicated, 27% were sober and 9% were extremely intoxicated.^[14][85]

Wider culture[edit]

Hookup culture on college campuses is intertwined with a broader society. On the other hand, some sociologists have argued that hookup culture is a characteristic of the American college environment and does not reflect broader American youth culture, just as many college graduates stop engaging in hookups when they leave college preferring instead dating or other sexual arrangements.^[3] Others, including Michael Kimmel, have said that 'the hookup culture can extend for years' beyond college, 'well into their thirties and even their forties.'^[87] Baby Boomer fears of hookup culture have been termed a 'moral panic'.^[10] Until recently, those who studied the rise of hookup culture had generally assumed that it was driven by men, and that women were reluctant participants, more interested in romance than in casual sexual encounters. But evidence exists that young women are propelling it too.^[45]

Hookup culture also exists outside of the college environment. Location-based geosocial networking smartphone applications, also known as hookup apps or dating apps, are increasingly being used to locate potential hookups.^[13]Men who have sex with men (MSM) commonly use mobile dating apps designed for the gay male market such as Grindr, Jack'd, and SCRUFF to find hookup partners.^[88] One study noted that gay men's increased use of mobile hook-up apps has eroded gay public life, especially for those gay men who are on the urban margins in terms of social class and generation.^[89] Hook-up apps designed for heterosexuals emerged after the gay-oriented Grindr; Tinder, for example, was introduced in 2013.^[90] There have been a variety of dating apps for women who identify as lesbian, but they have been criticized for merely being 'reskins' of successful hookup apps for gay men.^[90] Daatch is described as one of the few successful hookup apps designed for lesbians.^[90]

Life course studies indicate that as people grow older and as they subjectively identify as adult, they are less likely to engage in casual sexual behavior.^[91] However, social scientists recognize that there is little scientific research on older people's sex lives, so no definitive conclusions may be drawn.^[92]

Media[edit]

The American Academy of Pediatrics has argued that media representations of sexuality may influence teen sexual behavior,^[93] and this view is supported by a number of studies.^{[11][94][95][unbalanced opinion?]} Some studies suggest that teens who watch movies with more sexual content tend to become sexually active at an earlier age, and engage in riskier sexual behaviors.^[96] The idea is that the media may serve as a 'super peer' for youth,^[97] who then seek to develop a sexual identity that is in line with popular portrayals.^[4][98] On the other side, conservatives opposed to hookup culture have sparked controversy and come under criticism.^[99]

Cable television is filled with reality shows that depict an image of partying and glorified hookups, one of the most well known shows being MTV's Jersey Shore.^[28] Studies have found that about 35% of sexual behavior on cable television is with people 'who are not in established committed relationships'.^[28] In television, sexual monogamy differs from gender, suggesting men stray away from commitment, while women desire it.^[100] Further suggesting masculinity is equal to sex, possibly leading male viewers to be more accepting of hookup culture.^[100]

As the cost of personal computers dropped and online access has increased, Heldman and Wade, along with others, argue that internet pornography has 'emerged as a primary influence on young people's, especially men's, attitudes towards sex and their own sexuality.'^[4][97][101] Heldman and Wade believe that the increase of access to pornography via the internet is what 'spurred' hookup culture, in part by challenging the idea that 'good sex' takes place in a monogamous relationship.^[101][1] Feminist Gail Dines has opined that pornography is 'a cultural force that is shaping the sexual attitudes of an entire generation' and a 'major form of sex ed today for boys.'^[102]

Extra effects and causes[edit]

There are many ideas as to why people think young adults are involved in this hookup culture, such as that they feel like they have to do it to fit in.^[8] Some girls also reported that the main reason they are involved with random hookups is because they think that is what boys want.^[103] The feeling of being wanted by a cute guy is what they want and hookups are how girls think they can get that attention. However, many boys and girls did report that they do hookup with random people in order to find someone they could possibly start something serious with.^[8] That being said, not all young adults are hooking up with each other to fit the college norm, and gain sexual pleasure, but because they truly want to find someone they have a serious connection with. There was a study by University of Louisville researchers Owen and Fincham, who asked 500 undergraduate students that have been involved in hookup culture how they felt about commitment, and about 45% of men and 65% of women said they wanted their hookups to possibly end up in a serious relationship.^[104]

There have also been a number of studies that have studied the mental aspects of casual hookups. In a study done by psychologist Seth Schwartz has shown results that say that people who had many random hookups had more psychological issues.^[105] For instance, students in college that had stated they were involved in casual sex had higher levels of depression and anxiety and lower levels of self-esteem, happiness and life satisfaction compared to the students who did not engage in a casual hookup in the past thirty days.^[105] There was then a study of about 400 young adults that felt lonely and depressed and adults who had less feeling of loneliness and depression who were involved in sexual intercourse.^[14] They then researched what emotional affects being involved in sexual intercourse hookups had on them. They then came up with results that showed that penetrative sex hookups made people with greater feelings of depression and loneliness have a decrease in those symptoms and feelings.^[14] Whereas people who expressed less symptoms of loneliness and depression had an increase in those feelings after a penetrative sex hookup.^[14] Not only does it make people feel depressed but it makes them feel uncomfortable. For example, a study by Reiber and Garcia in 2010 show that a lot of people that engage in sexual hookups feel uncomfortable.^[14] They also came to a conclusion that 78% of people in a hookup overestimate how comfortable their partner is doing certain things during their sexual engagement. Random hookups also have shown to cause feelings of pressure and performance anxiety in a study by Paul, et al.^[14]

The continuation of the sexual double standard between men and women may be due to the motivations behind men and women's hook ups. While the sexual marketplace makes it seem that women hold all the power, most women report engaging in casual sex in order to satisfy their partners and increase the possibility of it turning into a long-term, monogamous relationship where men use casual sex to increase their sexual experience and explore themselves before being tied down by marriage.^[29]

Communication theory[edit]

The majority of academic research about hook-up culture focuses on the psychological, biological, and societal influences on an individual's inclination to engage in uncommitted sex, but some scholars have examined theories of communication and how they relate to hook-up culture.

Attachment theory[edit]

The premise behind John Bowlby's attachment theory is to 'describe the behaviors that humans use to relate to one another.'^[71][106] Attachment theory suggests people develop an attachment style during childhood and then carry it into adulthood, where it can have impacts on the relationships they form.^[71][106] Researcher Mary Ainsworth identified different attachment styles, and suggested they can influence someone's relational and sexual behavior.^[71][107] In one analysis, these attachment styles were applied to explain how homosexual men behave sexually.^[71] For example, gay men with an anxious-ambivalent attachment style (an individual made uncomfortable by 'close emotional relationships, but will desperately try to seek out reassurance from another person') might be more reluctant to use condoms during sexual intercourse because they believe this will make them feel more wanted by their partner.^[71][108] Meanwhile a gay man with an anxious-avoidant attachment style (an individual who does not like to get close to others) will most likely try to remain disconnected from his partner for fear of becoming too close or intimate.^[71][108]

Sexual script theory[edit]

The way cultural norms affects someone's sexual habits and behavior is defined as sexual script theory.^[19][25] Researchers John Gagnon and William Simon originally developed the concept and suggested these scripts serve as 'guides for behavior.'^[25] The scripts can help individuals determine what is and is not appropriate based on surrounding cultural influences.^[25] In the United States, this script includes 'kissing, then sexual touching, and ultimately culminates in sexual intercourse (i.e., the 'bases').'^[19] These sexual scripts also help define gender roles and explain the actions both males and females take in hook-ups and uncommitted sexual encounters.^[19][25]

Casual sexual scripts have emerged as a subset of traditional sexual scripts.^[109] The traditional dating script follows a formal pattern and heteronormative gender roles.^[109] The casual script is perceived as less formal and lacks clarity.^[109]

Hookups seem to offer a chance to break away from normative dating patterns. Research on friends with benefits relationships contradicts this perception^[110].Some women sought to flip the gender scripts and behave as a powerful man might with casual relationships.^[110] They suppressed their emotions and in turn, felt a lack of power and control.^[110] Reverting to characteristics of traditional sexual scripts, women may find themselves further entrenched in unwanted gender roles.^[110]

Mediated sexual scripts portray two different narratives for men and women^[111].The male script portrays sex as uncomplicated, fun and expected^[111].The female sexual script emphasizes the need for caution and expectation of criticism ^[111].When viewed, these mediated scripts encode into personal sexual script and influence behavior.^[111] The results of a study looking at first year college students supported this claim. Male students were likely to endorse or take part in hookup culture if they had viewed such scripts. ^[111]

Cultivation theory[edit]

The concept of cultivation theory suggests 'media influence people indirectly.'^[25] Researchers suggest the ways media portrays sexual activity of different age groups is disproportionate to reality.^[25][112] Someone who consumes a variety of media will demonstrate these influences when confronted with hook-ups or uncommitted sexual scenarios.^[25][112]

Research[edit]

Most research regarding hook-up culture has been reliant on conducting interviews and surveys with sexually active individuals, particularly those at a high school or college level.^[19][31][25] Each investigator's set of questions, however, has served a different purpose in the overall analysis of hook-up culture.

Research to explain a 'hook-up'[edit]

Scholars have expressed the difficulty of defining a 'hook-up' since it has different meanings based on cultural norms and personal preferences.^{[19][31][25][16]} Researchers like Kathleen Bogle and Donna Freitas have interviewed males and females, both separately and together, to gain a better understanding of the hook-up culture on campuses in the United States.^[19][31] Their studies have focused on how the growing hook-up culture has shaped the trajectory of dating and forming relationships, and have also aimed to gain a better understanding of the difference in sexual scripts between men and women.^[19][31] They have also used this data to help further explain what specific actions and behaviors constitute a hook-up.^[19][31]

Influences of dating sites and apps[edit]

Another avenue of research has studied the influences of dating websites and mobile dating apps on hook-up culture.^[15][16][71] Scholar Carey Noland suggests the advent of finding hook-ups or dates through the Internet has made talking about sex easier because you 'skip the small talk' and do not have to worry about the normal 'barriers' of saving face when talking to someone online.^[25][113] Additional research has analyzed hook-up patterns to see how mobile app developers have catered to their potential users.^[15] For example, the creators of Grindr capitalized on the increased sexual desires among gay men^[71][35] to base its app on locational awareness.^[15] This paved the way for apps where users can find connections and meet up with people who are often right around the corner.^[15]

Understanding the risks[edit]

Research conducted on hook-up culture has also been applied to scientific studies about sexually-transmitted infections. Knowing more information about a man or woman's behavior during casual sex has increased the understanding of how STIs are contracted, whether it is through oral sex or sexual intercourse, and how frequently or infrequently individuals take steps to prevent them.^[16][65] By interviewing individuals who engage in hook-ups, scholars have been able to better explain health risk perceptions or the lack thereof; researchers have also been able to apply their findings to study the potential psychological effects of hook-ups, including feelings of depression or regret.^[16][66][67]

Areas for future research[edit]

Experts have suggested several areas for future research, including additional studies about how members of the LGBTQ community are impacted by hook-up culture, and how perceptions of the LGBTQ community have been affected by the hook-up culture.^[71][90][35] Researcher Kathleen Bogle highlights another area of study; she says a new focus should be on individuals who choose not to participate in hook-ups and how they are 'affected by the dominant hookup culture that surrounds them.'^[19] Finally, a third avenue for future research could include an analytical view of individuals who use apps like Grindr or Tinder with hopes of finding connections or developing relationships, rather than using them for the more common casual hook-ups.^[15]

Critique[edit]

Several scholars have critiqued how outside influences have shaped or contributed to hook-up culture as a whole.^[19][31][25]

Many ideas and beliefs about the growing hook-up culture suggest the act of engaging in uncommitted sex is primarily found among teenagers or college students.^[19][25] While teenagers and college students may be sexually active, it is important to understand that other age and social groups are taking part in casual sex, too.^[19][25] One of the reasons for this disconnect is the misrepresentation of sexual activity among certain age groups in media.^[25][112] In television, teens are most commonly shown to be sexually active and it is rare to see any kind of sexual activity portrayed for individuals aged 65 or older.^[25][112] Further research shows, however, that this is opposite of the actual sexual activity reported among these age groups.^[25][112]

The stereotypes and different sexual scripts of males and females in hook-ups have also been influenced greatly by different media, like movies, television, and pornography.^[31] Frequently in media, women are depicted as 'sexual objects' and men are portrayed as 'there to objectify them.'^[31] Furthermore, media promotes the 'boys will be boys' mentality. These stereotypes have shaped current hook-up culture by implying that this is how men and women are 'supposed to act.'^[31]

On another note, scholars suggest the reality of emotional risks associated with hooking-up can be linked to a lack of conversation or discussion about them.^[25] When discussing sex with adolescents, both parents and sex education programs tend to focus on the health risks, like STIs and pregnancy, but these exchanges rarely highlight the 'emotions that occur from sexual experiences.'^[25] These conversations seldom present information about motives for engaging in sex aside from reproduction, and rarely acknowledge the positive emotions associated with this type of activity, like physical pleasure.^[25] This imbalance of information regarding sexual behavior and activity has also contributed to the sexual scripts we see in hook-up culture today.^[25]

See also[edit]

References[edit]

1. ^ ^abcdefFreitas 2013.
2. ^Dockterman, Eliana (July 23, 2013). 'What Everyone's Getting Wrong About the Ivy League Hookup Culture'. Time. Retrieved 2013-07-29.
3. ^ ^abcBogle 2007.
4. ^ ^abcdePaul, Elizabeth L. (2006). 'Beer Goggles, Catching Feelings, and the Walk of Shame: The Myths and Realities of the Hookup Experience'. In Kirkpatrick, Dan Charles; Duck, Steve; Foley, Megan K. (eds.). Relating Difficulty. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. pp. 141–160. ISBN9780805854121. Retrieved 2013-07-22.
5. ^Dye, Lee (September 21, 2011). 'Want to have a hookup? What does it mean?'. ABC News. Retrieved 2013-07-29. Hookups have replaced casual sex and even dating on many college campuses over the years, but as is so often the case when sex is discussed, it's not altogether clear what everybody is talking about when they say 'hookup.' One new study at a large university suggests that most young people are doing it, although not everyone agrees what 'it' is. Researchers at the University of Montana found so many different definitions among the students they studied that they had to come up with a precise definition to be sure everybody was talking about the same thing.
6. ^ ^abWolfe, Tom. 'Hooking Up'. New York Times. Retrieved 2013-07-29. 'Hooking up' was a term known in the year 2000 to almost every American child over the age of nine, but to only a relatively small percentage of their parents, who, even if they heard it, thought it was being used in the old sense of 'meeting' someone. Among the children, hooking up was always a sexual experience, but the nature and extent of what they did could vary widely.
7. ^http://www.psc.isr.umich.edu/pubs/abs/4696 Retrieved July 28, 2017.
8. ^ ^abcdefghKerner, Ian (May 16, 2013). 'Young Adults and a Hookup Culture'. CNN. Retrieved 2013-07-22.
9. ^ ^abMcKay, Brett (May 2, 2013). 'Mating Intelligence with Drs. Glenn Geher and Scott Barry Kaufman'. Art of Manliness. Retrieved 2013-06-22.
10. ^ ^abcArmstrong, Elizabeth A.; Hamilton, Laura; England, Paula (2010). 'Is Hooking Up Bad For Young Women?'. Contexts. 9 (3): 22–27. doi:10.1525/ctx.2010.9.3.22. Retrieved 2013-07-22.
11. ^ ^{abcdefghijklmnopqrs}Garcia, Justin R.; Reiber, Chris; Massey, Sean G.; Merriwether, Ann M. (2012). 'Sexual Hookup Culture: A Review'(PDF). Review of General Psychology. 16 (2): 161–176. doi:10.1037/a0027911. PMC3613286. PMID23559846. Retrieved 2013-06-25.
12. ^Yglesias, Matthew (July 16, 2013). 'Who Will Save College Students From The Scourge of Doomed Campus Relationships?'. Slate. Retrieved 2013-07-29. There's an awful lot wrong with moral panic stories about 'hookup culture' on campus [...]
13. ^ ^abHahn, Hunter A.; You, Dokyoung S.; Sferra, Michale; Hubbard, Meagan; Thamotharan, Sneha; Fields, Sherecce A. (2018). 'Is it Too Soon to Meet? Examining Differences in Geosocial Networking App Use and Sexual Risk Behavior of Emerging Adults'. Sexuality & Culture. 22 (1): 1–21. doi:10.1007/s12119-017-9449-3. S2CID149441709.
14. ^ ^{abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzaaabac}Garcia, Justin R.; Reiber, Chris; Massey, Sean G.; Merriwether, Ann M. (February 2013). 'Sexual Hook-up Culture'. Monitor on Psychology. Vol. 44 no. 2. American Psychological Association. p. 60. Retrieved 2013-06-04.
15. ^ ^abcdefghijklD'Emilio, John, and Estelle Freedman. (2012). Intimate Matters: A History of Sexuality in America. Chicago, IL: Chicago University Press. ISBN9780226923819
16. ^ ^{abcdefghijklmnopqrstuv}Wade, Lisa. (2017). American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus. W. W. Norton. ISBN9780393355536
17. ^ ^abcdefghijklBogle 2008, pp. 7–.
18. ^Bogle 2008, pp. 20–21.
19. ^ ^{abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzaaabacad}Bogle, Kathleen A. (January 2008). Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus. NYU Press. ISBN9780814789919.
20. ^ ^abPaul, Elizabeth; McManus, Brian; Hayes, Allison (2000). 'Hookups: Characteristics and Correlates of College Students' Spontaneous and Anonymous Sexual Experiences'. Journal of Sex Research. 37: 76–88. doi:10.1080/00224490009552023.
21. ^ ^abFreitas 2013, p. 159.
22. ^Prochner, I. and Z. Chen, T. Kang, and H. Lu (2021). Casual Sex During the COVID-19 Pandemic: Risks, Recommendations and Spaces for Design Intervention. Imagination Lancaster. pp. 48–51.
23. ^Stuart, Laura Anne (February 21, 2011). 'College Hookup Culture: Myth or Reality?'. Express Milwaukee. Retrieved 2013-07-22.
24. ^ ^abcBoodram, Shannon T. (2009). Laid : Young People's Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture. Berkeley, California: Seal Press. pp. 1–58. ISBN9781580053242.
25. ^ ^{abcdefghijklmnopqrstu}Bruce, Michael; Stewart, Robert (2010). College sex : philosophers with benefits. Malden, MA: John Wiley & Sons. pp. 91–102. ISBN9781444324488.
26. ^Napper, Lucy E.; Kenney, Shannon R.; LaBrie, Joseph W. (2016-10-20). 'The Longitudinal Relationships among Injunctive Norms and Hooking Up Attitudes and Behaviors in College Students'. Journal of Sex Research. 52 (5): 499–506. doi:10.1080/00224499.2014.952809. ISSN0022-4499. PMC4374023. PMID25255916.
27. ^'The difference between casual sex and hooking up - Chatelaine.com'. Chatelaine. 2013-03-27. Retrieved 2016-10-20.
28. ^ ^abcAubrey, Jennifer Stevens; Smith, Siobhan E. (2016). 'The Impact of Exposure to Sexually Oriented Media on the Endorsement of Hookup Culture: A Panel Study of First-Year College Students'. Mass Communication and Society. 19 (1): 74–101. doi:10.1080/15205436.2015.1070875. S2CID143211704.
29. ^ ^abcOlmstead, Spencer B.; Conrad, Kathryn A.; Anders, Kristin M. (2018). 'First Semester College Students' Definitions of and Expectations for Engaging in Hookups'. Journal of Adolescent Research. 33 (3): 275–305. doi:10.1177/0743558417698571. ISSN0743-5584. S2CID152031778.
30. ^Currier, Danielle M. (2013). 'Strategic Ambiguity: Protecting Emphasized Femininity and Hegemonic Masculinity in the Hookup Culture'. Gender & Society. 27 (5): 704–727. doi:10.1177/0891243213493960. S2CID146542719.
31. ^ ^{abcdefghijklmno}'The Impact of Exposure to Sexually Oriented Media on the Endorsement of Hookup Culture: A Panel Study of First-Year College Students'. Mass Communication and Society. 19.
32. ^ ^abcdReiber, C; Garcia, J.R. (2010). 'Hooking up: Gender Differences, Evolution, and Pluralistic Ignorance'. Evolutionary Psychology. 8 (3). doi:10.1177/147470491000800307.
33. ^ ^abcdefghLufkin, Kyle (2017). 'Hookup Culture in Gay Men: an Application of Minority Stress Model, Just World Belief, and Attachment Style on Interpersonal Relationship Choices'. University Honors Theses. Paper 387.
34. ^ ^abcdefgHoward, Rhea; Perilloux, Carin (2016). 'Is mating psychology most closely tied to biological sex or preferred partner's sex?'. Personality and Individual Differences. 115: 83–89. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2016.05.009.
35. ^ ^abcRace, Kane (2015). 'Speculative pragmatism and intimate arrangements: online hook-up devices in gay life'. Health & Sexuality. 17 (4): 496–511. doi:10.1080/13691058.2014.930181. PMID24992161. S2CID37111444.
36. ^ ^abcdefghiManning, W. S.; Giordano, P. C.; Longmore, M. A. (2006). 'Hooking up: The relationship contexts of 'nonrelationship' sex'. Journal of Adolescent Research. 21 (5): 459–483. doi:10.1177/0743558406291692. S2CID145785599.
37. ^Grello, C. M.; Welsh, D. P.; Harper, M. S.; Dickson, J. W. (2003). 'Dating and sexual relationship trajectories and adolescent functioning'. Adolescent & Family Health. 3: 103–112.
38. ^Katie Couric (2005). 'Nearly 3 in 10 young teens 'sexually active''. NBC News. Retrieved 2007-01-21.
39. ^'www.guttmacher.org'(PDF). Guttmacher Institute. June 2013. Retrieved 2013-08-14.
40. ^Lowrey, Annie (2010-11-15). 'Freaks, Geeks, and Economists'. Slate. ISSN1091-2339. Retrieved 2016-10-21.
41. ^Jarrell, Anne (2000-04-02). 'The Teenage Face of Sex Grows Younger'. New York Times. Retrieved 2007-12-08.
42. ^ ^abJayson, Sharon (2005-10-19). 'Teens define sex in new ways'. USA Today. Retrieved 2013-07-22.
43. ^Sax 2005, p. 131.
44. ^ ^abcdefghWade, Lisa (May 30, 2013). 'Hookup culture: College kids can handle it'. Los Angeles Times. Retrieved 2013-06-04.
45. ^ ^abTaylor, Kate (14 July 2013). 'Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game, Too'. The New York Times. Retrieved 1 October 2016.
46. ^Skelton, Alissa (October 5, 2011). 'Study: Students Not 'Hooking Up' as Much as You Might Think'. USA Today. Archived from the original on June 10, 2013. Retrieved 2013-07-22.
47. ^ ^abcOwen, J.; Fincham, F. D. (2011). 'Young Adults' Emotional Reactions After Hooking Up Encounters'. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 40 (2): 321–330. doi:10.1007/s10508-010-9652-x. PMID20809375. S2CID4171705.
48. ^ ^abPaul, Elizabeth L.; McManus, Brian; Hayes, Allison (2000). ''Hookups': Characteristics and Correlates of College Students' Spontaneous and Anonymous Sexual Experiences'. Journal of Sex Research. 37 (1): 76–88. doi:10.1080/00224490009552023.
49. ^ [[[Wikipedia:Citing_sources page needed]]]_49-0'>^a[[[Wikipedia:Citing_sources page needed]]]_49-1'>^b[[[Wikipedia:Citing_sources page needed]]]_49-2'>^c[[[Wikipedia:Citing_sources page needed]]]_49-3'>^d[[[Wikipedia:Citing_sources page needed]]]_49-4'>^eBogle 2008, p. ^{[page needed]}.
50. ^'The Truth About College Students and Casual Sex Revealed'. Live Science. Retrieved 2016-10-21.
51. ^Freitas 2013, p. 170.
52. ^Kimmel 2008, p. 190.
53. ^Freitas 2013, p. 160.
54. ^Kimmel 2008, p. 191.
55. ^ ^abTaylor, Kate (July 12, 2013). 'Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game, Too'. New York Times. Retrieved 2013-07-22.
56. ^Freitas 2013, p. 165.
57. ^Freitas 2013, p. 29.
58. ^Freitas 2013, p. 112.
59. ^ ^abGarcia, J. R.; Kruger, D. J. (2010). 'Unbuckling in the Bible Belt: Conservative Sexual Norms Lower Age at Marriage'(PDF). The Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology. 4 (4): 206–214. doi:10.1037/h0099288.
60. ^Whelan, Christine B. (November 9, 2009). 'Defining the Hook-Up Culture'. Busted Halo. Retrieved 2013-06-04.
61. ^Bogle 2008.
62. ^Freitas 2013, p. 158.
63. ^Armstrong, Elizabeth, and Laura Hamilton. (2015). Paying for the Party: How College Maintains Inequality. Harvard University Press. ISBN9780674088023
64. ^Rosin, Hannah (September 2012). 'Boys on the side'. The Atlantic.
65. ^ ^abcdDowning-Matibag, Teresa; Geisinger, Brandi (September 2009). 'Hooking Up and Sexual Risk Taking Among College Students: A Health Belief Model Perspective'. Qualitative Health Research. 19 (9): 1196–1209. doi:10.1177/1049732309344206. PMID19690202. S2CID23367788.
66. ^ ^abcPaul, Elizabeth; Hayes, Kristen (2002). 'The casualties of 'casual' sex: A qualitative exploration of the phenomenology of college students' hook-ups'. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 19 (5): 639–661. doi:10.1177/0265407502195006. S2CID146677050.
67. ^ ^abLewis, Melissa; Granato, Hollie; Blayney, Jessica; Lostutter, Ty; Kilmer, Jason (2011). 'Predictors of hooking up sexual behavior and emotional reactions among U.S. college students'. Archives of Sexual Behavior. doi:10.1007/s10508-011-9817-2. PMC4397976.
68. ^ ^abEshbaugh, E. M.; Gute, G. (2008). 'Hookups and sexual regret among college women'. The Journal of Social Psychology. 148 (1): 77–89. doi:10.3200/SOCP.148.1.77-90. PMID18476484. S2CID207708750.
69. ^ ^abCambell, A (2008). 'The morning after the night before: Affective reactions to one-night stands among mated and unmated women and men'. Human Nature. 19 (2): 157–173. doi:10.1007/s12110-008-9036-2. PMID26181462. S2CID13552488.
70. ^Freitas 2013, p. 111.
71. ^ ^abcdefghijkVrangalova, Zhana; Ong, Anthony D. (2014). 'Who Benefits From Casual Sex? The Moderating Role of Sociosexuality'. Social Psychological and Personality Science. 5 (8): 883–891. doi:10.1177/1948550614537308. S2CID146722784.
72. ^Natalie Kitroeff (November 11, 2013). 'In Hookups, Inequality Still Reigns'. The New York Times. Archived from the original on 2019-07-30.
73. ^Jeremy E. Uecker; Brandon C. Martinez. 'Explaining Gender Differences in Hookup Regret'. Retrieved March 3, 2016.
74. ^'The Emotional Costs of Hooking Up'. The Chronicle of Higher Education. 2010-06-20. Retrieved 2016-03-03.
75. ^Regnerus, Mark. (2011). Premarital sex in America : how young Americans meet, mate, and think about marrying. Uecker, Jeremy. Oxford: Oxford University Press. ISBN9780199743285. OCLC606235109.
76. ^Herold, Edward S.; Mewhinney, Dawn‐arie K. (1993). 'Gender differences in casual sex and AIDS prevention: A survey of dating bars'. Journal of Sex Research. 30 (1): 36–42. doi:10.1080/00224499309551676. ISSN0022-4499.
77. ^Freitas 2013, p. 48.
78. ^Pardes, Arielle (July 15, 2013). 'What It's Really Like to Have Sex at Penn'. Cosmopolitan. Retrieved 2013-07-22.
79. ^ ^abcPaul, E. L.; Hayes, K. A. (2002). 'The Casualties of 'Casual' Sex: A Qualitative Exploration of the Phenomenology of College Students' Hookups'. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 19 (5): 639–661. doi:10.1177/0265407502195006. S2CID146677050.
80. ^ ^abFielder, R. L.; Carey, M. P. (2010). 'Predictors and Consequences of Sexual 'Hookups' Among College Students: A Short-Term Prospective Study'. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 39 (5): 1105–1119. doi:10.1007/s10508-008-9448-4. PMC2933280. PMID19130207.
81. ^ ^abLewis, M. A.; Granato, H.; Blayney, J. A.; Lostutter, T. W.; Kilmer, J. R. (2011). 'Predictors of Hooking Up Sexual Behavior and Emotional Reactions Among U.S. College Students'. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 41 (5): 1219–1229. doi:10.1007/s10508-011-9817-2. PMC4397976. PMID21796484.
82. ^Freitas 2013, p. 41.
83. ^ ^abKimmel 2008, p. 199.
84. ^Van Gelder, M. M. H. J.; Reefhuis, J.; Herron, A. M.; Williams, M. L.; Roeleveld, N. (2011). 'Reproductive Health Characteristics of Marijuana and Cocaine Users: Results from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth'. Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health. 43 (3): 164–172. doi:10.1363/4316411. PMID21884384. S2CID24936759.
85. ^ ^abFisher, M. L.; Worth, K.; Garcia, J. R.; Meredith, T. (2012). 'Feelings of Regret Following Uncommitted Sexual Encounters in Canadian University Students'. Culture, Health & Sexuality. 14 (1): 45–57. doi:10.1080/13691058.2011.619579. PMID22077716. S2CID20466688.
86. ^ ^abKimmel 2008, p. 200.
87. ^Kimmel 2008, p. 259.
88. ^Chan, Lik Sam (2017). 'The Role of Gay Identity Confusion and Outness in Sex-Seeking on Mobile Dating Apps Among Men Who Have Sex With Men: A Conditional Process Analysis'. Journal of Homosexuality. 64 (5): 622–637. doi:10.1080/00918369.2016.1196990. PMID27268871. S2CID13368182.
89. ^Davis, Mark; Flowers, Paul; Lorimer, Karen; Oakland, Jane; Frankis, Jamie (2016). 'Location, safety and (non) strangers in gay men's narratives on 'hook-up' apps'(PDF). Sexualities. 19 (7): 836–852. doi:10.1177/1363460716629334. S2CID147833472.
90. ^ ^abcdMurray, Sarah; Sapnar Ankerson, Megan (2016). 'Lez takes time: designing lesbian contact in geosocial networking apps'. Critical Studies in Media Communication. 33 (1): 53–69. doi:10.1080/15295036.2015.1133921. S2CID147003223.
91. ^Lyons, Heidi Ann (2015). 'Subjective adult identity and casual sexual behavior'. Advances in Life Course Research. 26: 1–10. doi:10.1016/j.alcr.2015.07.001. PMC4821070. PMID27065759.
92. ^DeLamater, John. (2015). 'Sexual expression in later life,' pp. 175-197 in Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society, Michael Kimmel and the Stony Brook Sexualities Group, ed. Oxford University Press.
93. ^Bar-on, Miriam E.; Broughton, Daniel D.; Buttross, Susan; Corrigan, Suzanne; Gedissman, Alberto; González de Rivas, M. Rosario; Rich, Michael; Shifrin, Donald L. (January 2001). 'Sexuality, Contraception, and the Media'. Pediatrics. 107 (1): 191–1994. doi:10.1542/peds.107.1.191. PMID11134460.
94. ^'Media Literacy'. University of Washington. Retrieved 2012-03-07.
95. ^Victor C. Strasburger, MD (2005). 'Adolescents, Sex, and the Media: Ooooo, Baby, Baby – a Q & A'. JAMA Pediatrics. 16 (2): 269–288. doi:10.1016/j.admecli.2005.02.009. PMID16111618.
96. ^Humphries, Linda (October 24, 2012). 'Sexy Movies Increase Teen Sex'. Tallahassee.com. Retrieved 2012-11-18.
97. ^ ^abJones, Sam (March 22, 2006). 'Media 'Influence' Adolescent Sex'. The Guardian. London. Retrieved 2013-08-03.
98. ^Kimmel 2008, p. 207.
99. ^Horn, Heather (May 17, 2010). 'Caitlin Flanagan on Young Women, Hookup Culture and Relationships'. The Atlantic Wire. Retrieved 2013-07-22.
100. ^ ^abKim, Janna L.; Lynn Sorsoli, C.; Collins, Katherine; Zylbergold, Bonnie A.; Schooler, Deborah; Tolman, Deborah L. (2007). 'From sex to sexuality: Exposing the heterosexual script on primetime network television'. Journal of Sex Research. 44 (2): 145–157. doi:10.1080/00224490701263660. PMID17599272. S2CID45859683.
101. ^ ^abHeldman, Caroline; Wade, Lisa (July 10, 2010). 'Hook-Up Culture: Setting a New Research Agenda'. Sexuality Research and Social Policy. 7 (4): 323–333. doi:10.1007/s13178-010-0024-z. S2CID5688674.
102. ^Don Aucoin (July 27, 2010). 'The shaping of things'. The Boston Globe.
103. ^'Most women don't enjoy hookup culture—so why do we force ourselves to participate?'. Quartz. Retrieved 2016-10-20.
104. ^ ^ab'The Shocking Truth About Hook-Ups'. Psychology Today. Retrieved 2016-10-20.
105. ^ ^ab'How Casual Sex Can Affect Our Mental Health'. Psychology Today. Retrieved 2016-10-20.
106. ^ ^abDuck, Steve (2011). Rethinking Relationships. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications. pp. 29–80.
107. ^Ainsworth, Mary (1978). 'The Bowlby-Ainsworth attachment theory'. The Behavioral and Brain Sciences. 1 (3): 436–438. doi:10.1017/S0140525X00075828.
108. ^ ^abStarks, Tyrel; Parsons, Jeffrey (2014). 'Adult attachment among partnered gay men: Patterns and associations with sexual relationship quality'. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 43 (1): 107–117. doi:10.1007/s10508-013-0224-8. PMID24297659. S2CID207090984.
109. ^ ^abcTimmermans, E; Van den Bulck, J (2018). 'Casual Sexual Scripts on the Screen: A Quantitative Content Analysis'. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 47 (5): 1481-1496. doi:10.1007/s10508-018-1147-1.
110. ^ ^abcdFahs, B; Munger, A (2015). 'Friends with benefits? Gendered performances in women's casual sexual relationships'. Personal Relationships. 22 (2): 188-203. doi:10.1111/pere.12073.
111. ^ ^abcdeAubrey, J.S.; Smith, S.E. (2016). 'The Impact of Exposure to Sexually Oriented Media on the Endorsement of Hookup Culture: A Panel Study of First-Year College Students'. Mass Communication & Society. 19 (1): 74-101. doi:10.1080/15205436.2015.1070875.
112. ^ ^abcdeHetsroni, Amir (2008). 'Overrepresented Topics, Underrepresented Topics, and the Cultivation Effect'. Communication Research Reports. 25 (3): 200–210. doi:10.1080/08824090802237642. S2CID145000434.
113. ^McKenna, Katelyn (2008). 'MySpace or Your Place: Relationship Initiation and Development of the Wired and Wireless World'. In Sprecher, Susan; Wenzel, Amy; Harvey, John (eds.). Handbook of Relationship Initiation. New York: Psychology Press.

Works cited[edit]

• Bogle, K. A. (2007). 'The Shift from Dating to Hooking Up in College: What Scholars Have Missed'. Sociology Compass. 1 (2): 775–788. doi:10.1111/j.1751-9020.2007.00031.x.
• Bogle, Kathleen A. (2008). Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus. New York: New York University Press. ISBN978-0814799697.
• Freitas, Donna (2013). The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy. New York: Basic Books. ISBN978-0-465-00215-3.
• Kimmel, Michael (2008). Guyland. New York: Harper. ISBN978-0-06-083134-9.
• Sax, Leonard (2005). Why Gender Matters. Doubleday. ISBN9780385510738.

Moving to a new city or working at a new job where you don't know anybody can seriously be depressing, especially if you're already introverted as it is. What are you supposed to do? Go sit at the bar by yourself? And talk to strangers?

Then comes the lightbulb idea: You can make friends online! If online dating is so popular and successful, there's no way that there aren't a few legit sites where you can make adult friends in your area with similar interests. Hmm, AdultFriendFinder.com sounds like the right ballpark.

So you're on your lunch break at work, type in the URL, and the next thing you know, you're frantically closing the tab and hoping nobody walked behind you for that split second.

Our point: AdultFriendFinder is not what it sounds like.

Friends with benefits and not a crumb of subtlety

Made quite obvious by the words blatantly plastered across the main page pictured above, AdultFriendFinder is where you can go to 'join the world's largest sex and swinger community.' (That photo is actually a video of a woman talking, so you may want to mute your computer or put on headphones before you click.)

AdultFriendFinder is one of the most well-known sites for finding quick sexual encounters, regular hookups, and literally anything else even remotely related to sex. The rowdy feed of matches, jumble of explicit photos, and stimulating calls-to-action offering all types of sex makes is heaven for anyone looking for a good time with no filter — and hell for someone who wouldn't be caught dead clicking on a 'There are hot singles in your area' ad.

Even if you're not using it for real sex, it's always nice to have spank bank material in your back pocket. Social distancing rules due to the coronavirus made this quite obvious. Sexting, nudes, and Pornhub searches all saw a spike since people started social distancing at home. If you don't want to risk quarantine sex or aren't finding people on your level of horniness on Tinder, you're pretty much guaranteed to find someone who's just as down as you are on AdultFriendFinder. You can find someone to sext via messaging or video (and maybe even plan to get it on IRL when it's safe), watch live streams, or join niche group chats. Is it worth $20-something per month? Depends on how much fishy content you're willing to overlook for a juicy sexting session.

We reached out to Kalyn Sanders, a business development executive at Friend Finder Networks, for updated AFF demographics. Right up there with Tinder's monthly flock, AdultFriendFinder snags the attention of over 55 million visits around the world per month, on average. (To whet your appetite upon signup, the main landing page flashes a statistic like '103,001,735 active members,' but we're not exactly sure what that means.) The majority of traffic originates from the United States, followed by visitors from the United Kingdom and Canada. SimilarWeb ranks the site in the top 160 of all sites in the U.S.

Specifics on the demographic that most people care about — the gender ratio — can be hard to track down. Sanders told us that 'there's a 2 to 1 ratio of single men vs. categories like single women, couples, and groups.' The split between men and women is an expected one for a lot of hookup-centric sites. At the end of the day, it's a paradise for straight men, hit-or-miss for straight women and queer men, and likely an actual hellscape for queer women.

This site is all about sex, clearly

If you're 100% over being grilled with relationship questions and the slow-and-steady pace on traditional dating sites like eharmony or Match, AdultFriendFinder is your golden ticket to instant communication. Registering takes literally 30 seconds — they require nothing from you aside from an email address, a username, a password, and an introduction. Your notifications will start pouring in even without adding any juicy info (because people see nothing wrong with hitting up a profile with a gray silhouette as a profile photo, apparently), but it's probably best to add a few photos and a detailed description — both to up your chances of flirtation or finding someone who shares a super-specific fantasy, but also to signal to other users that you're not a bot.

After registering, there are a ton of ways to personalize your account (way more than you'd expect for a hookup site, honestly). The more you fill out, the more attractive your profile will be to new viewers. There are the basic physical appearance questions about eye and hair color, and since I identified as a woman, cup size was an option. (If you identify as a man, I'm sure you can guess what question they ask.)

Many self-proclaimed hookup seekers can probably admit that they'd still like to hook up with someone whom they'd also like to grab a beer with, especially if they plan on seeing that person multiple times. Those people will appreciate that AFF gives a compatibility score with each user you come across: a metric that rates how well you might mesh with someone in the bedroom based on how you answered questions about what turns you on, whether you're dominant or submissive, and so on.

One of the funniest forms was the 'Purity Test,' featuring 100 comically-awkward questions about how far you're willing to go sexually. It felt like the sexy 20 questions game that you'd play with your middle school crush when neither of you knew how to flirt. Note that this is just helpful information for you personally — there's no real matching strategy other than the basic info on physical appearances.

Finding a match

Like a traditional dating site, AdultFriendFinder gives you a collage of potential matches and will let you know who's online or close distance-wise. These will be random right after you sign up, but you can opt to update your preferences to refine your results: Choose your preferred gender(s), age range, location and mile radius, race, sexual orientation, body type, and marital status.

You barely have to scroll before noticing that there's no shortage of nudity. Depending on whether you set your preferences to men, women, or both, you'll see all of that stuff up close, personal, swinging around, in action. You name it, it'll pop up.

AdultFriendFinder is basically like a PornHub that you can interact with. We probably don't have to say this, but AdultFriendFinder is NSFW and not safe to be on while kids are in the room. Some videos will be blurred out and read 'Naughty video' until you upgrade to a Gold Membership, but trust me — you'll get to see a lot, even with the free version.

Introduction Title For Hookup Site Template

The message section is set up similarly to a Gmail account, and you can mark things as read or important just as you would on a real email. You'll receive some crude messages instantly (creeps on Tinder do the same thing), but some will be genuinely friendly.

It's not all bad

Once you get past the in-your-face sexplosion of naked profile pictures, horny AIM-era profile names, and explicit videos, there are actually an impressive number of resources to help make your experience as satisfying as possible. Some will cost money even outside of the paid subscription, which is kinda dumb.

Aside from the NSFW content, the website is relatively straightforward (albeit ugly). Every feature is advertised in big letters, notifications are displayed clearly with labels, and you don't really have to click around to find anything. This makes it super accessible for users of all ages, even those who aren't tech-savvy and can't even figure out Facebook. Buttons are all over the place, but you figure it out after messing around for a few minutes.

Activities range from direct messaging, sending virtual gifts, watching live videos of people in your feed, joining adult chat rooms that can get very niche, or entering photo contests.

Think of AdultFriendFinder as the dating site version of New York City — it never sleeps. You'll find people who work the regular 9-5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it's nearly impossible to log on and not have a ton of people to talk to. You know, like that booty call who's always awake when you text them.

Or at least that used to be the case... 10 years ago. What was once a hot site that a few Reddit users were quick to hype up is now one of the dating sites that Reddit users can't help but diss — in the few instances that AFF is even being discussed at all. The Reddit community is diverse and open-minded, and if a dating site exists, someone on Reddit has used it and has an opinion on it. It's notable that, on a site where online dating is such a mammoth topic of discussion, that AdultFriendFinder has rarely been mentioned since the early 2010s. When an innocent soul does ask if it's legit, AFF usually gets dragged for sketchy pricing and being ridden with bots.

Paid memberships are where things get... interesting

You can do a decent amount of exploring without paying a cent: Limited messaging and emailing, visit and like most profiles, and enter some chat rooms. But just a few clicks on AdultFriendFinder can send you deep down the rabbit hole, and a lot of that juicier hidden content can only be unlocked with a paid membership (called the Gold membership) or by earning points.

Points are AdultFriendFinder's non-monetary currency. If you're a free member, you'll have to earn points through on-site activity to unlock stuff that's exclusive to paying members. It's kind of like a game, with points acting like dollar bills at the strip club.

If you're a guy looking for girls, a Gold membership is pretty much the standard. While researching on Reddit, we found a few women who said they won't meet a guy unless he's a Gold member. A Gold membership puts a little bit more credibility behind someone's profile and makes the whole encounter feel a bit safer. It's easier to believe that someone's a real person if they're a paying, active member of the site, and it's nice to know that they're taking it slightly seriously. Plus, if you see a picture or profile that looks like it's 10 years old, it really might be — there are a ton of non-active, non-paying profiles from old members and escorts still lingering.

If you find yourself spending more quality time on the site than you expected, becoming a paid member is definitely something to consider. Once you're paying, you basically become royalty on the site: Your profile will appear way higher in searches, you can use the most advanced searches, unlock profiles with private photo albums, check out video profiles, and message to your heart's content. A general rule is that increased involvement and payment on your end generally equals more success on the website, as your constant activity and heightened search-ability makes it way easier for others to find you.

Prices for a Gold membership fluctuate but generally get cheaper the longer your subscription is: Get one month for $39.95, three months for $26.95 per month, or 12 months for $19.95 per month.

Good for: Very open-minded people looking to blow off steam

Stating the obvious, AdultFriendFinder a space for people who want to bang with no strings attached, people who are in a sexual rut, people who are tired of porn, and people who find sites like eharmony to be boring. Getting to know someone for weeks before meeting up can be exhausting, and sometimes, you just wanna skip the small talk and do the dirty with a random. It's gonna get kinky out there, and that's great for those who are dying to blow off steam and want someone who will respond well to a brusque, sexy message.

People are so active on this site that it's impossible not to feel worshipped. Just seeing the notifications of users wanting to talk to you will make your heart flutter, and once you come across your first legit suitor, you'll start to loosen up. Even if you're left on read a few times, you'll learn which opening lines and flirty comments work and which don't. But since the site is aimed toward casual encounters and not serious relationships, the whole rejection thing isn't nearly as prevalent.

As with all dating sites, catfishing is a big buzzkill. Your chances of being pursued are way higher if you have a lot of pictures of the same person (AKA you), videos, and a genuine profile that lets people know they're not dealing with something sketchy. Even if you've had bad luck with online dating in the past, AdultFriendFinder is the place to be honest.

Bad for: People looking for a real relationship and the entire woke community

You know those warnings that thrill rides at amusement parks are required to put up that tell people who get dizzy easily or have heart problems to not get on the ride? AdultFriendFinder could use something like that. This site is not for the faint of heart — if you're a cynic, conservative by any means, get sketched out easily, or simply aren't a fan of dick pics, you're probably going to hate it. Similarly, if you appreciate a well-crafted, aesthetically-pleasing website that feels safe — no matter how badly you want to have sex — one glance of the landing page likely signaled that it's not for you.

AFF lets you identify as and search for a man, woman, a couple, or 'TS/TV/TG.' We can only assume that those abbreviations are referring to highly-offensive, tone-deaf terms for the trans community — terms that any reputable dating site should know not to use. Unless AFF is fine with alienating all LGBTQ users and people who care about that community, it should learn what the hell pronouns are.

AdultFriendFinder is not the place to be if you're trying to make friends, unless 'with benefits' is tacked onto the end. Every inch of the site screams 'this website is used to have sex,' and you should really listen to that.

As illustrated by the recent flood of artsy activism guides on Instagram, it's clear what content appeals to young people on the internet: Something aesthetically-pleasing, sharable, and digestible. The 'sharable' part doesn't totally apply to online dating, but apps like Hinge and OkCupid closely follow this design trend by limiting the number of words (and ads) in each tab, steering clear of endless scrolling, and ensuring that important info isn't cluttered with flashing clickbait.

For instance, Pure is a modern, no-strings-attached hookup app that appeals to your horny side with a single, witty statement about sex rather than bombarding you with boobs and 'Have sex in NYC now!' claims. Anyone older than a millennial may be totally used to this pop-up ridden layout, which seemed to be popular in the early 2000s — but for younger folks, AFF's chaotic approach is way too reminiscent of Omegle.

AFF could do so much more to make people take it seriously

The entire website looks like an ad about hot MILFs that pops up when you're illegally streaming a movie. Seriously, it's bad. Even though the website is technically legit, the pictures, word choice, and exclamation points everywhere scream 'scam.' No, AdultFriendFinder, '98,897,765 Hot Photos' is not the way to make potential new users trust you.

We're not knocking a quick hookup or no-strings-attached relations. This isn't about morals. Genitals are quite literally in your face from the moment you make an account, and that's just not cute. There are chiller ways to go about insinuating that this is a hookup website without feeling like you're trapped in a sex dungeon with strangers.

I could not get past the fact that the entire site looks like it's about to invite five viruses to your computer. We're talking terrible graphics that look like they were made on Microsoft Paint and pictures of women who look like they're from Pornhub in 2007. (That's when AdultFriendFinder was officially sold and rebranded from its original parent company.) Reddit user Snoo53279 summed it up in a comment from July 2020: 'The people on AFF are definitely real, but there is a huge smattering of bots that also get in the way so it can be a bit of a PITA to use.' If they're not bots, they could be men posing as a couple to seem less threatening.

The parade of women on the landing page is questionable for two reasons. This shouldn't even need to be clarified, but not everyone is looking for a woman. At the least, the advertising just isn't inclusive — but this crosses into fetishization territory. The cherry on top is that the women in the photos (unsurprisingly) probably aren't even members on the site, according to a disclaimer at the bottom of the landing page.

AdultFriendFinder's overall outdated vibe goes past an aesthetic annoyance — it's downright problematic at times. The 'TS/TV/TGs' part of sign-up is nearly unforgivable, and we'd be scared to see some of the related rhetoric that AFF users feel comfortable spewing. Without even a dash of social awareness, it's hard to see how anyone who's not an out-of-touch straight cis man would feel comfortable on this site.

Attempting to navigate the shoddy design might just be enough to smother your horniness. Three main issues can make the site borderline unusable: It looks shady as hell, an alarming portion of the user base is made up of bots and spam accounts, and the user interface itself is outdated and rife with bugs.

Other Reddit users mention that the desktop web version won't even load for them at random times — an especially frustrating roadblock for people who want to end their membership and stop monthly charges. A solution to the laggy web version might be to clear your cache or use the smartphone app instead, but your experience probably won't get better there. AFF's mobile page doesn't even mention an Android app, and the link to the iPhone app brings up a 'not available' pop-up in the App Store. For a site that claims to have over 50 million visitors each month, the lack of accessibility to a smartphone app is just plain odd — especially in 2021.

Adding to the sketchiness, a network hack in 2016 exposed around 412 million accounts, including 'deleted' accounts that weren't actually deleted from the database. If this is enough reason for you to fall back on Tinder for finding a friend with benefits, we don't blame you. Signing up with a burner email and avoiding using your real name as a username are wise moves (just pick a naughty word and add 69 to the end, IDK), though keeping your personal information private is hard when credit cards are involved.

In 2007, AFF was involved in a lawsuit with the FTC over allegations that the site used malware to send explicit pop-up ads to computers owned by people who hadn't signed up for the service. Though we haven't seen reports like this recently, so we're hoping those ridiculous ads you see are at least confined to people who actually use the site.

The alternatives

Surprisingly, AdultFriendFinder feels much more legit than competitors. While other hookup sites have names like FreeSnapMilfs.com, Fuckswipe.com, and Instabang.com, AdultFriendFinder will be the one you'd hate showing up in your Google search history the least. Most have the same general idea, which is to find sexual partners, have cybersex, etc, but with names like those, the authenticity is way too questionable. AdultFriendFinder boasts a much larger audience and has built credibility in a Tinder-saturated market where these blunt, friskier competitors may have trouble gaining trust.

No matter how in the mood you are, your hungry eyes may not be able to look past AFF's heinous interface. We mentioned Pure earlier. The aesthetically-pleasing, hella-millennial UX design is simply more palatable than AFF and the blueprint of what a modern hookup app should be. Kind of like a Snapchat for sex, your uploaded selfies, personal info, and conversations will self destruct every 60 minutes. The app will send the hookup version of an Uber request to anyone else who's close and ready to rumble, and you can choose what information to disclose from there.

Remember when we said AdultFriendFinder would be a nightmare for queer women? If you want an alternative, Feeld is an inclusive, very 2021 app dedicated to singles and couples looking for threesomes, foursomes, or however many people you want — minus the unicorn hunting and rampant fetishization that many non-hetero, non-monogamous people face on traditional hookup sites and apps.

The final verdict

AdultFriendFinder is a low-pressure way to find a friends-with-benefits situation without insulting anyone. Everyone is pretty much there for the same reason — and though it'll feel pretty unorthodox if you've only ever used to Tinder to scope this type of thing out, AFF's blunt advertising at least means you won't have to explain that you're not looking for a relationship. It's niche-friendly, well-populated, and has a ton of interactive outlets to indulge your primal urges.

But that freedom comes with a price — the price being feeling like one of those people who falls for the ads that pop up before a free Pornhub video. It's not that a site dedicated to sex and sexting is inherently scammy — it's that AdultFriendFinder drowns you with explicit photos on profiles who might not even be real people while asking you to pay for a subscription with every click. Unfortunately, no matter how in the mood you are, some people aren't cut out for the nothing-left-to-the-imagination approach with grammar mistakes all over the place. It wants to be sex-positive so badly, but the way sign-up talks about the trans community is the furthest thing from that.

The functionality and safety of the site and the mobile app aren't where they need to be in 2021. If security measures were tightened, graphics and photos were cleaned up to feel more relevant, and decision-makers behind the scenes were given a lesson in inclusivity and pronouns/identities, AdultFriendFinder could be a handy tool to find attachment-free hookups and connect with a community that's down for anything.

If you're feeling brave, you can register for AdultFriendFinder here. Just don't try this at work.

Explore related content: