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It is so funny to see how some social behaviours are exactly the same between France and the US, and others are completely different. One of the very obvious difference is the dating game.

French dating site is a service to help French singles online to find love and dates. It is easy and common these days for women and men meet each other at online dating services. There are thousands of single ladies and guys who want to find online romance.

• After living in France for a few months, here are the top dating sites I recommend that cater to French-speaking countries and/or French singles. Interestingly, few of these sites exist in the English-speaking world, or, North America in general.
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1 – Dating in the US Versus Dating in France

Well, this was a big shock to me when I arrived in the US. I had no idea what “dating” meant.

I understood of course a man and a woman could be interested in each other in a romantic way, let me reassure you.

But I was not aware that accepting to go out to dinner with a man alone gave the signal that I was possibly romantically interested in him.

Nor did I know about this first date, second date and third date business.

2 – No Dating Protocol in France

In France, it’s very common for a girl to go out to dinner with a male friend.

Even for a married woman to go out with a male friend who is single.

I often travel to Paris by myself; my daughter Leyla and husband Olivier stay in Paimpol. I often have dinner with one (or several) of our good (male) friend(s), whether they’re single or not.

Olivier trusts me, and we both trust our friend(s), who would never make a pass at me. I guess it’s much more accepted in France for men and women to be friends.

However, if a woman is dining with a man, you can bet he will pick up the check. Some old habits die hard. I usually trick them by asking to be excused (as if I was going to the lady’s room, grab the waiter and give him my credit card).

But I would never do that to my Dad who would be very upset if I did. But I digress…

3 – Making the Situation Clear

When I meet a man and I am without my husband, I’ll place within the first minutes of the conversation that “my husband blablabla… and our daughter blablabla…”. That usually is enough to make my state of mind really clear.

I did the same thing as a girl, talking about my boyfriend (actually existing or not) early on in the conversation.

Now, not everybody does that of course, some girls like to play, and sometimes lose themselves in the game, or hurt people. Some boys never give up… and sometimes their tenacity pays off… And some people are just not faithful, but contrary to popular opinion, it’s not worse in France than anywhere else (and several studies demonstrate it).

A new approach to learning both traditional and modern French logically structured for English speakers.

4 – Flirting is an Artform in France

French people flirt. It’s in our genes and it’s socially accepted in France. A Frenchwoman is expected to play her feminine side, and be “admired” for her beauty and wit among other qualities.

Frenchmen like to flirt as well, even if they know very well there is no hope of it leading anywhere. The game is the main point, it’s relatively innocent and usually no-one gets hurt, just a little blushed :-)

5 – Body Language

With kissing hi and goodbye being the standard and French women being more “flirtatious”, it can be difficult for foreigners to correctly read a French woman’s body language.

I guess since there is no set protocol, French women are pretty obvious, and often more direct than other women.

You will know when a French girl is flirting with you: she’ll smile to excess, move her hair a lot, smile at you, blush, laugh hard and loud at your jokes, find occasions to touch your shoulder (or even your knee… oh la la),… and it’s not unlikely that she’ll make the first move. So relax and enjoy the show :-)

As for French men. Well, they are men. It’s unlikely they’ll refuse to take it further, but not unheard of. Again, the game is often more important than the catch, even to men.

6 – The French Woman has the Power

It all boils down to this. The woman has all the power when it comes to dating. She decides whether she wants the guy or not, and may need more than one dinner to make up her mind… Then, she’ll make the situation pretty clear… or just keep on flirting for the joy of it.

It’s then up to the guy if the company of “la belle” is enough for him, or if the game has lasted long enough – in which case no-one is forcing him to continue to invite her.

In any case, there is no obligation nor expectation whatsoever for the woman to do whatever after any number of “rendez-vous galants”.

7 – Working Hard for it

So, since there is no dating protocol, French guys have to work hard for it… They cannot just assume that if the girl accepts to go out with them three times, “c’est dans la poche” (it’s in the pocket, it’s a done deal).

Maybe this is why French guys have the reputations of being so romantic, and… tenacious !! We trained them well (with some exceptions of course… pretty much every politician :-(

8 – Love and Sex in France

Believe it or not, at the opposite of all the stereotypes, French people are much more about love than sex.

Talking about sex is not taboo in France as it is in the US, and it is much more present in humor, art, tv and everyday life than in the US… and so is nudity: children are often naked on the beach, women can go topless (although it’s less frequent now than when I was young)…

Still, sex is very much associated with love. I wrote an article about French Sex Vocabulary if you are curious – watch out, it is explicit and written for an adult audience.

Many of my French friends – men and women alike – have waited to meet someone special for their first time, didn’t just want to get rid of their virginity, and have never had one night stand.

If sex between consenting adults is very much socially accepted, a lot of French people won’t rush into it, and get to know each other before jumping into bed.

9 – Dating is Exclusive in France

It’s only in American movies that I found out about this “let’s be exclusive” concept.

In France, pretty much once you’ve exchanged a kiss, it’s expected of you to be exclusive: you don’t chase several rabbits at the same time… Maybe that’s why things take a bit more time to develop in France – we like the game, and we like to take our time playing it.

It’s actually the first point they made in this video, which I really liked:

European Dating Sites For Americans

10 – What About Saying “I Love You”?

In many cultures, saying I love you is a milestone in the relationship. It doesn’t seem to be that important in France.

According to a show on France 2 national TV channel,8% of French people would be ready to declare their love on the first day!! Yet, France 2 also says many French feel comfortable saying “I love you” within 2 months of the relationship (Frenchmen: 88 days, Frenchwomen 134 days!)

I hope this article shed some light on the French dating system… or lack of it. Of course, this is only my opinion – please take it as such.

And if you like this article, you’ll probably enjoy my “French women beauty secrets” article.

And for more about “l’amour” in France, check out my Saint Valentin article.

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Whether you’re an expat living in France, want to meet someone French, or just like the idea of seeing how people date and relate in a culture different to yours – French dating sites offer all this, and more.

After living in France for a few months, here are the top dating sites I recommend that cater to French-speaking countries and/or French singles. Interestingly, few of these sites exist in the English-speaking world, or, North America in general.

AdoptUnMec / AdoptAGuy

What feels like a lifetime ago, I wrote for About.com / The New York Times. During that time, for many a Valentine’s Day AdoptAGuy would send me a t-shirt and chocolates. I kept a few of the shirts… well because I got a laugh out of the logo. What was it? A woman pushing a shopping cart with a gent plunked inside.

I didn’t have a ton of success with English-version site, however. In a nutshell, women join for free and decide who to contact, while the men pay to display themselves in the hopes they’ll attract a gal’s attention.

In France though, AdoptUnMec is by far the most used and conversed about of the French dating sites. Pretty much every “mec”, or guy, that I spoke to while living in France mentioned they’d used the site at some point.

I found AdoptUnMec more fun in French, where I could detail my needs and wants in a partner with a very tongue-in-cheek formulation. Headings like “Regional Products,” “New on the Shelf,” and a list of women that I’d be in competition with for any one gent’s attention made me laugh. There’s also a huge number of users on both sides of the equation, although sadly only heterosexuals seem welcome. Definitely my top pick of the French dating sites.

OkCupid

OkCupid seems to get onto almost every single one of my “top dating site” lists, and for good reason. They’ve got a huge database of available singles. Their site makes it easy to connect no matter where you’re from (including if you’re traveling and wanting to meet someone). Plus, it’s free (unless you want limit who looks at your profile, and other non-essential features). I had the most luck on OkCupid while in France with actually meeting people to have a relationship with (a surprising 100% success rate). If I couldn’t meet anyone from AdoptUnMec, I’d try OkCupid.

Meetic

I’ve used Meetic a few times, but I’ve yet to meet anyone in person from the site. I did notice a larger-than-normal membership base in France, however. Which makes sense considering Meetic is based in France. There are definitely more men than women on the site (65/35 split, from what I could tell). I also encountered more romance scams on Meetic than any of the others on this list. So, like always, read the dating site’s fine print, and buyer beware.

[*Note: I used to write for About.com, whose parent companies were The New York Times then Ask.com, and IAC. IAC now owns Meetic. Then and now, my reviews only reflect my personal experiences, and not the companies I contracted for, nor did they pay me to review their sites.]

HugAvenue

French Dating Site In French Google Translate

One of the most marketed dating sites in France. HugAvenue boasts that not-so-attractive men can find the gal of their dreams in their ever-popular TV spots. I found the site well-used even in the smallest of French towns. There were, however, more than a few questionable pictures that made me wonder if perhaps they were a joke. Questionable, in that there’s no one that would really post that bad of a picture on a dating site willingly, would they? Wait, there’s a hundred of these kinds of profiles? Uh…

Quintonic

Quintonic seems to cater to an older, French audience looking more for companionship than anything else. Community seems to be the focus, although of course it’s still a dating site. While I can’t speak for how effective Quintonic is with regards to meeting people (I only found it after I lived in France, and, I don’t fit the demographic), I have heard from several folks who used it successfully to find love.

Which French Dating Sites Top Your Favorite List?

Of course, I’ve missed quite a few dating companies on this list. Many of the French dating sites I’ve run across I can’t in good faith recommend. Or, they have a long list of complains online through various channels. These dating sites, I found, were the best use of my time and energy.

But, what about you? Did you use a dating site while in France? Did you have any luck with the service? What did it cost? Did the relationship last? Do share in the comments, along with your suggestions and recommendations.